Examiner Comments
This is a very comprehensive response to the question.
The response gives two drawbacks of computer games and one advantage.
Each of these ideas is well developed and specific to children. There is a good use of examples and studies in this essay.
There is also a clear position throughout this response (the writer believes that there are both negative and positive consequences to playing video games).
The response follows a logical structure. First of all, the introduction gives a short introduction to the topic and explains that there are also positive effects of video games which should be acknowledged.
The first two body paragraphs give the drawbacks of playing video games. Each paragraph contains a separate idea which is clearly the central topic of the paragraph.
The third body paragraph contains a consideration: there can be benefits to computer games. The writer gives the example of how Angry Birds and other games can develop problem-solving skills.
The conclusion summarises the ideas well. It shows that the writer doesn’t believe that “playing computer games only has negative consequences”. In fact, the positive aspects of video games can be achieved through parental supervision and guidance (which is mentioned in body paragraph 3).
Throughout the response there are a variety of linking words and it is easy to follow the logic of the writer as they explain their ideas.
This response contains a large range of advanced vocabulary:
- Antisocial: Youngsters may develop an addiction or start to form antisocial habits.
- Crave: Youngsters crave video games while they should be focused on other things like homework.
- Pre-adolescent: Computer games can create addiction in pre-adolescents.
- Exposure: Exposure to violent games produces feelings that last long after the game has finished.
- Dampen: In violent games, the young players are rewarded for violent acts, which can dampen their sensitivity to the consequences of such behaviour in real life.
- Free reign over: If we allow our children free rein over their computer game playing, we are risking the development of addictive, anti-social and even violent human beings.
Spelling is accurate.
The response is accurate and makes use of a variety of advanced structures:
- Complex Sentences: “To a large extent, I agree with this statement; however, with strict parental control, it may be possible to produce some positive effects too.”
- Subordinate Clauses: “Furthermore, they often lose interest in healthy outdoor activities, use games to escape problems rather than deal with them, and become irritable when not playing.”
- Comparative and Superlative Forms: “The more violent games children take part in, the more likely they are to form antisocial habits.”
- Modal Verbs: “This can lead to depression or anxiety.”
- Passive Voice: “Recent studies in America have demonstrated that exposure to violent games produces feelings that last long after the game has finished.”
- Infinitive Phrases: “To a large extent, I agree with this statement; however, with strict parental control, it may be possible to produce some positive effects too.”
- Conditional Sentences: “Conversely, there are many valid arguments in favor of children playing computer games, and with parents controlling the time spent playing and the types of games played, there could be benefits.”
Finally, punctuation is well-controlled throughout the response.
Useful Vocabulary
A word used to describe a child, young person, or young animal.
Some people believe this can only cause damage to youngsters as they may develop an addiction or start to form anti-social habits.
Harmful to society.
Youngsters may develop an addiction or start to form antisocial habits.
Causing addiction, which is the need or strong desire to do or to have something, or a very strong liking for something.
Computer games are highly addictive.
To have a very strong feeling of wanting something.
Youngsters crave video games while they should be focused on other things like homework.
To no longer be interested in something, meaning no longer wanting to give attention to something.
Youngsters often lose interest in healthy outdoor activities
Generally referring to those ranging from age 9 to 12 years – also called pre-teenagers or tweens who are at the age where they are leaving childhood and entering adolescence.
Computer games can create addiction in pre-adolescents.
Spoken or physical behaviour that is threatening or involves harm to someone or something.
An important problem is that of youngsters accessing violent games triggering aggression and violence in the children themselves
Experiencing something or being affected by it because of being in a particular situation or place.
Exposure to violent games produces feelings that last long after the game has finished.
To make feelings, especially of excitement or enjoyment, less strong.
In violent games, the young players are rewarded for violent acts, which can dampen their sensitivity to the consequences of such behaviour in real life.
Able to make you believe that something is true or right.
One of the most convincing arguments is that youngsters can develop good problem-solving skills.
A lot of freedom of movement, choice, or action.
If we allow our children free rein over their computer game playing, we are risking the development of addictive, anti-social and even violent human beings.
