Examiner Comments
- This report provides a clear and accurate description of how participation in five different activities at a Melbourne community centre changed between 2000 and 2020.
- The introduction paraphrases the task effectively, while the overview highlights the overall patterns and key trends.
- Major patterns are presented logically and supported with accurate data, including the film club’s dominant position throughout the period, the steady rise in table tennis, and the contrasting downward trend in amateur dramatics.
- The response summarises all significant features, avoids unnecessary detail, and includes appropriate comparisons between the activities.
- The report follows a clear and well-organised structure: the overview comes immediately after the introduction, followed by stable activities first, then those that increased, and finally the one that declined.
- This sequencing effectively highlights contrasts in trends and allows the description to progress smoothly.
- Cohesive devices are varied and controlled, with clear transitions such as “to begin with,” “in contrast,” “meanwhile,” and “eventually.”
- Referencing, for example “the latter,” is used effectively to avoid repetition and maintain flow.
- Vocabulary is precise and suitably varied, with accurate expressions such as “dipped slightly,” “remained steady,” “rose gradually,” and “falling sharply.”
- Synonyms and paraphrasing are used effectively to reduce repetition of key terms such as “participants.”
- The language is consistently clear, formal, and concise, well suited to an academic Task 1 response.
- A wide range of grammatical structures is used flexibly and accurately.
- Past simple tense is applied consistently and appropriately to describe changes over time.
- Complex sentences and relative clauses are handled with ease, for example “which had no enrolment in the early years” and “starting at 27 participants but falling sharply after 2005.”
- Sentence structures are varied and controlled, combining simple, compound, and complex forms to produce a polished and natural report.
Useful Vocabulary
By a large amount.
Overall, trends varied considerably across the activities, with table tennis and musical performances showing clear growth, amateur dramatics declining sharply, and both the film club and martial arts remaining stable.
To a very great degree compared to others.
The film club consistently attracted by far the largest number of people, while table tennis experienced the most striking growth.
Very noticeable or impressive.
The film club consistently attracted by far the largest number of people, while table tennis experienced the most striking growth.
Being much stronger or more popular than others.
To begin with, the film club and martial arts remained steady over the twenty-year period, with the film club clearly dominating throughout.
Decreased slightly for a short period.
It started considerably higher than the others, at around 64 participants in 2000, dipped slightly to 60 in 2010, and then recovered to approximately 65 by 2020.
Very small in amount.
Meanwhile, martial arts showed minimal fluctuation, moving between roughly 37 and 39 and ending almost unchanged.
Remaining the same.
Meanwhile, martial arts showed minimal fluctuation, moving between roughly 37 and 39 and ending almost unchanged.
Characterised by lots of movement or change.
In contrast, the other activities displayed more dynamic patterns.
The second of the two things previously mentioned.
The latter, which had no enrolment in the early years, first appeared in 2005 and rose gradually to just under 20 by the end of the period.
Changed in a completely different way compared with something else.
This figure placed it just above amateur dramatics which moved in the opposite direction, starting at 27 participants but falling sharply after 2005 to finish at around 5, the lowest number across all activities.
