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Wai Fong

The table illustrates information on the average annual income per citizen of eight counties in Europe in two years (2008 and 2013). Also, it gives the percentage growth in income between two years. Units are measured in US dollars.
Overall, four countries registered an increase: Austria, Belgium, Luxembourg, and Poland; one country remained unchanged (Netherlands); three countries experienced a decline: Greece, Italy, and United Kingdom.
The average annual income in Poland, which was the least among eight countries in 2008, grew substantially by 22% to US$22,000 in 2013. Luxembourg, where average citizens gained US$30,000 per year in 2008, became the country with highest average annual income of US$35000 in 2013. Austria and Belgium saw a similar growth, increasing by 13% and 15%, respectively.
Netherlands was the only one country with no differences in annual income throughout the period studied: it remained at US$29,000 in both years. By contrast, a slight drop is registered in United Kingdom by -4%, decreasing from US$28,000 to US$27,000. Greece and Italy experienced a drastic decrease, dropping by 13% and 12%, respectively.

Community Band Score

2 votes, average: 8.00 out of 92 votes, average: 8.00 out of 92 votes, average: 8.00 out of 92 votes, average: 8.00 out of 92 votes, average: 8.00 out of 92 votes, average: 8.00 out of 92 votes, average: 8.00 out of 92 votes, average: 8.00 out of 92 votes, average: 8.00 out of 9 (2 votes, average: 8.00 out of 9)
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Comments

  1. Very nice answer Fion!
    + You use semi-colons and colons very well.
    + You also have lots of good ways to display and compare data.
    + Your introduction and overview are spot on.
    + Very nice use of non-defining relative clauses.
    + You cover good data about each country.
    – You would benefit from having a few more linking words in the first body paragraph (e.g. “by contrast, however, additionally, however”)
    – Remember the definite article in “the Netherlands” and “the UK”

  2. Great! I really like your use of the advanced grammar from the course: non-defining relative clauses, subordinate clauses, adding an extra verb phrase. Nice one!

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