I HSIEN

I HSIEN

The given table illustrates the comparison of annual income per person in eight different European countries: Austria, Belgium, Greece, Italy, Luxembourg, Poland, Nrtherlands and United Kingdom in 2008 and 2013, including the percenrage growth in those two years.

Overall, there are 4 countries ecperienced an increase in annual income(Austria, Belgium, Luxembourg and Poland), which Poland was top of the list. By contrast, Greece, Italy, and United Kingdom underwent a decrease in annual income, and Netherlands remained the same.

The average annual income per persom of 4 countries increase from 2008 to 2013. A Polish person’s annual imcome climbed from 18000 to 20000 US dollars between 2008 and 2013(at 22%). Countries trailed behind were Luxembourg, Belgium and Austria increased at 17%, 15%, 13%, respectively.

Greece, Italy, and United Kingdom witnessed a decline in annuls income per person. A Greek annusl income reduced 3000 US dollars between 2008 and 2013, which was -13% growth. Next came Italy, which had a -12% decrease. The annual income per Briton dropped from 28000 to 27000 US dollars, having a -4% growth. Last came Netherlands, which plateaued in 2008 and 2013 at 29000 US dollars per person.

Community Band Score

1 vote, average: 6.00 out of 91 vote, average: 6.00 out of 91 vote, average: 6.00 out of 91 vote, average: 6.00 out of 91 vote, average: 6.00 out of 91 vote, average: 6.00 out of 91 vote, average: 6.00 out of 91 vote, average: 6.00 out of 91 vote, average: 6.00 out of 9 (1 votes, average: 6.00 out of 9)
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Very good

  • Wow, I wish I could write like this. Can you give me some tips? 
  • This is a really good answer, I can’t see any mistakes.
  • Great vocabulary, I didn’t know the word _____ and ______.
  • Very clever ideas. They clearly relate to the question. 

Good

  • Your grammar is very good. However, I think you made a mistake in the sentence _______. I think it should be _______.
  • Your introduction/overview is really good. However, I think ______ is a mistake. It should be _________.
  • In general, your spelling is good but you misspelled the word ______. 

Comments

  1. Nice answer Judy. Your introduction and overview are very good. However, your body paragraphs lack enough comparison for band 7+. Also, there are too many spelling mistakes for band 7.
    – Be careful with your spelling: percenrage, Nrtherlands, ecperienced, persom, annuls
    – Remember the comma in large numbers: 18,000 (not 18000)

  2. Hello! I see that you misspelled the words Netherlands, percentage, experienced and many other words in the report. I guess you should learn how to write introduction, because there are a few logical mistakes. For example, you wrote ” including the percenrage growth in those two years”. We would write “including the percentage change between these years”. To my mind, you don’t want to write “percenrage growth”, because there are 3 countries which saw a reduction in annual income figure.
    “which Poland was top of the list” = “where Poland was the top of the list”
    increase from 2008 to 2013 = increased from 2008 to 2013
    Countries trailed behind were Luxembourg, Belgium and Austria increased at 17%, 15%, 13%, respectively = I think this sentence is grammatically incorrect
    Greece, Italy, and United Kingdom = Greece, Italy and United Kingdom (no comma)
    reduced 3000 US dollars = reduced by 3000 US dollars
    A Greek annusl income reduced 3000 US dollars between 2008 and 2013, which was -13% growth = I think this sentence is both grammatically and logically incorrect. “The annual income per person in Greece reduced by 3000 US dollars between 2008 and 2013 (13% decline).
    having a -4% growth = THIS IS NOT GROWTH, BUT DECREASE/ DECLINE/ FALL

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