The process diagram illustrates the 8-step process for producing a single bottle of wine.
Overall, grapes are needed to be picked and processed, which happens in 8-stages, for one bottle of wine to be sent to the supermarket. The residue is produced three times during the whole process, which is composted in a composting unit.
First, 400 ripe grapes are picked and collected to be juiced, resulting in 3000ml juice. Then, it is sent to the fermentation unit, which is aged there for 2-weeks to be fermented. The waste produced during fermentation was being sent to the composting unit. Now, the grapes’ juice is converted into alcohol.
Subsequently, the alcoholic form of the juice is sent to the next unit to get squeezed, which separates the 1000ml wine from the waste. Once the wine is pressed, it is sent for filtration , and the waste produced as a by-product is sent to be composted. After filtration, the 750ml purified wine has been sent to the barrels while the waste is composted. Finally, the amount of wine produced is filled into the bottle and sent to the supermarket for sale.
Nice report Shehla- certainly your best yet! 🙌
+ Your overview contains all the right information. However, it could be written more clearly. For example,
“Overall, 400 grapes go through an eight-stage process to be converted into a bottle of wine. Throughout this process, waste is produced three times, which is sent to be composted.”
+ Very good structure. You have divided your report into logical paragraphs which divide the process well.
+ Some great linking words: “subsequently”, “once the wine is pressed”, “Finally”.
+ Some great vocabulary: “by-product”, “filtration”, “purified wine”
+ Very good use of the passive structure.
– Some parts could be clearer. For example, “Then, it is sent to the fermentation unit, which is aged there for 2-weeks to be fermented.” – “Afterwards, it is sent to the fermentation unit, where it aged for two weeks until fully fermented”
– Avoid phrases like “Now,”; instead use “at/after this stage”