Wai Fong

Wai Fong

The two maps illustrate the school plan for its current state and a plan for how it will look in 2025.
Overall, the school building, the football court, and the sports building will remain the same; the area for playground will be reduced; the canteen, basketball court, and the tennis court will be relocated. Additionally, the original parking area will be divided from one to three different locations. A turnaround and a science building will be developed.
Now, adjacent to the school building is the canteen. The sports building and the football court are located below the canteen. A striking feature of the current school plan is that a large playground can be found below the school building. To the east of the school, there are two basketball courts and four tennis courts. The parking area, which offers 200 spaces, is in the north of the school.
A distinguishing difference of the 2025 plan is that the area of playground will be reduced by almost half, which will be substituted by a small carpark, four basketball courts and four tennis courts. Another feature of the future plan is that the original parking area will be decrease in size to provide only 150 spaces. A new parking area, which gives 20 spaces exclusively for staff, will be located to east of the school building. Both carparks will be connected by a turnaround in between. Where the canteen is, will be a science building. Three facilities will remain unchanged: the sports building, the football court, and the school building.

Community Band Score

1 vote, average: 8.00 out of 91 vote, average: 8.00 out of 91 vote, average: 8.00 out of 91 vote, average: 8.00 out of 91 vote, average: 8.00 out of 91 vote, average: 8.00 out of 91 vote, average: 8.00 out of 91 vote, average: 8.00 out of 91 vote, average: 8.00 out of 9 (1 votes, average: 8.00 out of 9)
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Comments

  1. Nice one Fion! ????
    + Clear introduction
    + Good overview
    + Good linking phrases (e.g. “Another feature of the future plan is..”
    + Good use of non-defining relative clauses
    – Now, adjacent to the school building is the canteen. – It would be better to start your paragraph with a topic sentence that shows the reader what they will find in the paragraph. 
    – turnaround = roundabout
    – will be decrease = will be decreased (future passive form)

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