The pie-charts illustrate the percentage of satisfied people who visited Edinburgh Zoo within one year before and after coupe of pandas were appeared. Overall, the total number of visitors and their satisfaction with the Zoo increased after introducing two pandas.

During the year before the pandas arrived 74.000 individuals came to see Edinburgh Zoo. The highest proportion accounted for those content with their visit at 40% and that figure remained the same in the year after pandas came. Then closely followed by disappointed citizens at 35%. The number of very pleased and very unhappy tourists made up 10% each of them, while those who did not respond to the survey constituted the lowest percentage at a mere 5%.

Turning to the year after adding pandas to Edinburgh Zoo, people who visited the museum numbered 82.000. The leading ratio stood for pleased visitors at 40%, followed by those very satisfied with the Zoo at 35%. 15% of individuals coming to see Zoo expressed their disenchantment with it, whereas very discontented visitors and those who gave no response to the survey became equal and represented the smallest percentages at 5% each.

Tutor Feedback

Overall grade: 6.5

Tip 1- Make more comparison of the data This will help you move towards getting a band 7. Here is a video that will help you: (watch from 8:41)
Tip 2- Learn some useful advanced structures for Task 1 In general, your grammar is very good. However, you would benefit from practising some useful grammar structures for task 1. Here is a lesson that will help you:
Tip 3- You don’t need to use synonyms for the categories. In your answer, you have used synonyms for the categories (very satisfied, satisfied, dissatisfied, very dissatisfied)- you don’t need to do this. In fact, if you use the wrong synonym here then you can lose marks.

Task Achievement

Band 6 You have a great introduction. You have a clear overview. To get a band 7 you need to have more comparisons of the data. Also, do not use synonyms for the categories.

Coherence and Cohesion

Band 7 Your answer is very well structured. Your paragraphs are logical and easy to understand. You would benefit from having more linking words and learning some useful sentence structures which can be used to compare the data in the graphic.

Lexical Resource

Band 7 Great vocabulary.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

Band 6 Your range is good enough for band 7, but you make too many mistakes to get band 7.


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