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Zheng

Alcoholic drinks are now a vital part of civilians’ life. However, some people think that alcohol should be banned as a drug and made illegal. In my opinion, I would partly agree it should be limited. However, if alcohol is pronounced illegal, it would lose lots of fun in our life.
On the one hand, people think alcohol should be banned. It caused a large number of traffic accidents when people drank driven. It is a serious issue for many countries. So, the laws forbid drank driven are necessary. In addition, drinking could get people addicted to alcohol. In this case, it would cause people to fail to do what is normally excepted of them. Furthermore, some alcoholic guys might contribute to violence, especially might end up to hurting vulnerable person who close to them. Some families and relationships would be broken up. Moreover, overdrinking could damage their health. For example, some reports showed the data of overdrinking caused the liver and heart problems.
On the other hand, alcoholic culture is famous for lots of countries and regions. Alcohol is an important symbolic in ceremony around all over the world. For instance, in Chinese wedding history, the couple should drink alcohol together, it means they will accompany by each other forever. In modern life, not only alcohol always relaxes when people get a shooting respite at the end of a stressful day, but occasional drink with family or friends can be tonic, especially celebrate events. Alcohol makes people feel better. Moreover, alcohol is good for heart and circulatory system when people get moderate drink.
Alcohol is both poison and tonic. Many people believe that alcohol brings troubles in life. However, I would argue that we should balance risks and benefits. Firstly, drank driven should be forbidden and made illegal. Secondly, drinking addiction should provide compulsory healthcare or close-knit community help. Thirdly, the reports should educate and encourage moderate drink alcohol, such as no more than one drink a day.
In conclusion, passing the law against unacceptable behaviors are necessary; albeit enjoying moderate drinking is also a part of our life.

Community Band Score

2 votes, average: 6.50 out of 92 votes, average: 6.50 out of 92 votes, average: 6.50 out of 92 votes, average: 6.50 out of 92 votes, average: 6.50 out of 92 votes, average: 6.50 out of 92 votes, average: 6.50 out of 92 votes, average: 6.50 out of 92 votes, average: 6.50 out of 9 (2 votes, average: 6.50 out of 9)
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Comments

  1. + Clear introduction. However, “However, if alcohol is pronounced illegal, it would lose lots of fun in our life.” should be “However, if alcohol were made illegal, lots of people would have less fun in their lives”
    + Nice topic sentence. However, try to avoid generalisations. Try saying “On the one hand, many people think…”
    + Great example of the importance of alcohol at Chinese weddings.
    – Some problems with tenses. For example, “It caused” should be “It causes” as you are talking about something that is happening in the present. There are other examples of this in your essay (for example, “overdrinking caused the liver and heart problems.”)
    – Try to avoid a new idea at the end of a paragraph (unless you are going to develop it). For example, “Moreover, alcohol is good for heart and circulatory system when people get moderate drink.”
    – Your conclusion should make it much clearer which side you agree with.

  2. Alcoholism is becoming a serious problem in many countries. However, there is contention over whether alcohol should be prohibited as a drug and made illegal. I would partly agree it should be limited, whereas total ban on alcohol may be harmful to society as this will result in the illegal production of alcohol and lead to the poisoning of a great number of people.
    On the one hand, alcohol is related to a large number of traffic accidents when people drunk driving. Under alcohol, people are less focused and are not able to follow the road. For instance, it was reported more than 2000 cases of death between 2020 and 2021 were caused by operating a vehicle while over the prescribed alcohol limit. Thus, laws forbidding drunk driving are necessary as they can significantly reduce traffic crashes. Furthermore, drinking alcohol may result in addiction and changes in an individual’s behaviour. Under the influence of alcohol, someone might be contributing to violence, especially if they may end up hurting a vulnerable person who is close to them. As a result, some families and relationships would be broken up. Hence, making alcohol illegal can lead to a decrease in traffic and domestic casualties and may improve health and reduce both mental and physical issues.
    On the other hand, prohibiting alcohol can lead to an increase in illicit liquor production. It is well-known fact that restriction of the supply of alcohol on the market will hardly solve the main issue; vice versa it may cause the opposite effect (as shown by the history of the USA with their “Dry law”). This is because people cannot stop drinking alcohol right away, and many unlicensed factories will produce as much alcohol as possible and establish a network of illegal shootings among the population. Therefore, it will result in a rising number of people suffering from serious health problems due to the poor quality of alcohol. Hence, banning alcohol may lead to more serious problems for people in the long-term perspective compared with limiting consumption at the legislative level.
    In conclusion, while it is true that making alcohol illegal can be beneficial for society, I would argue that it might lead to an increase in the production of illicit liquor and cannot resolve the issue of alcohol overconsumption.

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