Examiner Comments
The essay presents a clear and coherent argument on the topic of young people from the countryside moving to cities for education and work opportunities.
The essay uses persuasive language to express the author’s point of view, making a case for letting individuals choose their preferred living environment.
The essay acknowledges the viewpoint that suggests government intervention to improve rural areas but then presents counterarguments against it, demonstrating a consideration of different perspectives.
The essay provides specific reasons why young people prefer city life, such as better educational opportunities, job prospects, and social activities, making the argument more convincing.
The essay is well-organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each paragraph focuses on a specific aspect of the argument.
Throughout the essay, the writer uses a wide range of linking words naturally which helps the reader follow the ideas.
This essay contains a wide range of appropriate vocabulary which is used accurately and naturally and demonstrates a sophisticated control of language. There are no spelling errors.
Some examples of advanced vocabulary are:
Slow pace of ….. life: Young people often feel discontented with the slow pace of countryside life and seek fulfilment in the more dynamic environment of a city
Fulfilling jobs: Young people who attend university in cities often find it easier to obtain fulfilling jobs there also.
Government intervention: To encourage young people to return to the countryside would be challenging and would involve government intervention.
To entice people: Alongside this adjustment, more social facilities could be created to entice people to stay.
This essay uses a very wide range of both complex and simple appropriate grammar structures which help to convey ideas with clarity and precision.
- Complex sentence structure: Alongside this adjustment, more social facilities could be created to entice people to stay.
- Modal verb: To encourage young people to return to the countryside would be challenging and would involve government intervention.
- Subjective mood: I personally think we should leave things as they are and let people choose to live where they please.
Useful Vocabulary
“To opt for” means to choose or select something from available options. It indicates a decision or preference for one choice over others.
It is common nowadays for young people from the countryside to opt for a life in a city, usually to receive a higher quality education and better work opportunities.
“A slow pace of life” means taking things easy and not rushing through activities.
Young people often feel discontented with the slow pace of countryside life and seek fulfilment in the more dynamic environment of a city where there tends to be a wider choice of university courses, job opportunities and social activities.
“Fulfilling” means something that makes you feel happy and satisfied.
Young people who attend university in cities often find it easier to obtain fulfilling jobs there also.
“A combination of factors” is. phrase that refers to multiple elements or aspects working together to produce a certain result or outcome. It implies that several different things contribute to a particular situation.
A combination of these factors means many will choose to remain in the cities.
“Intervention” means taking action to help or improve a situation.
To encourage young people to return to the countryside would be challenging and would involve government intervention.
“To entice people” means to attract or persuade them by offering something appealing.
Alongside this adjustment, more social facilities could be created to entice people to stay.
“Pace of life” describes how fast or slow things happen in your daily routine.
Young people often feel discontented with the slow pace of countryside life and seek fulfillment in the more dynamic environment of a city where there tends to be a wider choice of university courses, job opportunities and social activities.
“To pay a visit” means to go see someone or something for a little while.
They can always pay regular visits to their families in the countryside and may choose countryside living again when they are older.
“To remedy something” means to fix or solve a problem or situation. It involves taking action to correct an issue, alleviate a difficulty, or improve a condition.
Attempts could be made to remedy this situation by providing more facilities in the countryside.
