The bar graph gives information on the quantity candidates, after completion of their bachelor degrees from one of the universities in the United Kingdom, registering for employment in four walks of life ( Education, Retail, Finance, I.T.) in two years ( 2008 and 2018) and a prediction for 2028.
Overall, Education and Retail indicated a clear rise whereas Finance and I.T. are foretold to be on the top most levels.
Education and Retail overtook the Finance and I.T. as far as registration for jobs was concerned :300 and 400 graduates in 2008. In 2018, they occupied the second position on the bar graph, approximately 200 and 300 bachelors respectively. For a prediction in 2028, they are ranked third in position, almost 200 and 150 graduates respectively.
Finance and I. T. are predicted to be taking the lead among all the four zones, nearly 450 and 300 members respectively, in 2028. By contrast : 250 and 50 candidates respectively, in 2008. In 2018, they occupied their positions lower than the forecasted quantity of bachelors in 2028, and higher than estimated number of graduates, in 2008.
Hey Shehla, nice answer 😀
+ Clear introduction (although we don’t use so many idioms in task 1 reports- “in four walks of life”)
+ Lots of nice vocabulary (approximately, ranked, are predicted to be, lower than the forecasted quantity)
+ Good structure (separating the body paragraphs into 2 subjects each)
– Your overview isn’t accurate (this would lower your score for Task Achievement to band 5)
– Some of your vocabulary is misleading (“overtook” in body paragraph 1)- it’s not “overtaking” because it is the first date mentioned. A more suitable phrase might be “was greater than”
– Some of your referencing words are confusing (“they are ranked third in position” in body paragraph 1. What is “they” referring to? If it refers to education and retail, they can’t both be in the third position.
Sorry for bothering you. Waiting for the day to write error free! haha
Okay noted !
Thank you so much for the correction.
Can I rewrite the same task ?