The table presents the average yearly income (in US dollars) of individuals from 8 different countries of Europe (Austria, Belgium,Greece, Italy, Luxembourg, Poland, Netherlands and United Kingdom) over a 5-year period, from 2008 to 2013 as well as the rate of growth between these years.
Overall, four countries witnessed an increase in the percentage growth of income per annum (Austria, Belgium, Luxembourg and Poland. By contrast, three countries saw a decrease (Greece, Italy and the United Kingdom). Only the Netherlands did not register a change over the mentioned period.
Among the four countries with risen growth, Poland’s significantly went up by far at 22% compared to that of Austria, Belgium and Luxembourg (13%, 15%, and 17%, respectively). While Poland registered the highest percentage growth, the citizens of Luxembourg substantially had the highest yearly income ($30,000 in 2008 and $35,000 in 2013 and $18,000 to $22,000, respectively).
In comparison with Greece and Italy (-13% and -12%, respectively), the United Kingdom experienced the lowest growth over the period at -4% (from $28,000 to $27,000).
In addition, the income that people in the Netherlands received from 2008 to 2013 remained the same at $29,000, which thus registered a 0% percentage in growth.
Hey Noemi. Very nice writing. Your introduction and overview are very clear. These two paragraphs are band 8+ level. However, I think you can improve your body paragraphs. Here are some tips.
1. Start your body paragraphs with a topic sentence that clearly shows the reader what they will find in each paragraph.
2. Use brackets when you are showing the change. For example, “Austria’s income increased by 13% (from $24,000 to $27,000). You do this most of the time. However, this sentence is confusing: “In comparison with Greece and Italy (-13% and -12%, respectively)”
3. Try and avoid 1-sentence paragraphs. Your final two paragraphs only have one sentence each. It would be better to combine these sentences together in the same paragraph.
Thank you for the comments. I highly appreciate it. I actually made a new one after watching some videos in the writing course. 🙂 The tips there are truly helpful. I don’t know if the one I just made and posted is good but perhaps better than the old one.
I will remember your comments. Thank you so much for the support.
You are very welcome!