The given table presents the outcome of the research on the proportion of people who consumed soft drinks daily for over a week in the four countries of the United Kingdom (England, Scotland, Wales, Northern Island) , in 2019.
Overall, the consumption of soft drinks remained between 39% and 51% among the four countries of the United Kingdom. Scottish people took the lead by using 51% of the soft drinks whereas Northern Ireland lagged behind among all the four countries, as mentioned in this comparison, by consuming 39% of these brands of soft drinks. All the countries used Coca- Cola in the highest percentage except the Scotland citizens who were more tended towards Irn- Bru.
Considering England, Coca- Cola and Pepsi were preferred by consumers showing the consumed proportion of both the brands as 16% and 8 % respectively while other drinks: Fanta, Sprite and Irn-Bru were used with the proportion of 7%, 5%, and 4% respectively.
The Scottish People liked Irn-Bru the most by showing its consumed proportion as 23%. Coca-Cola had been their second priority by registering its consumed percentage as 11% while Pepsi, Fanta, Sprite were used moderately by giving their percentage as 7%, 6%, 4% respectively.
In Wales, Coca-Cola and Pepsi were the top demanded drinks by the public, consuming them as 20% and 8% respectively. The proportion of Sprite and Irn-Bru had been steady (6%) while Fanta was used at the rate of 5%.
The percentage of Coca- Cola and Sprite (18% and 16% respectively) show the Northern Ire landers’ tendency towards these two brands the most whereas Fanta, Pepsi, and Irn-Bru were their least priorities by consuming them in the proportion of 7%, 6%, and 5% respectively.
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Comments
Nice answer Shehla. I like your introduction and overview. You also have a good structure. However, remember to leave a space between the introduction and overview, and Northern Ireland should be in a separate paragraph. Here are some tips.
1. Some of your sentences are difficult to read. You try to include too much information into one sentence. For example, “The Scottish People liked Irn-Bru the most by showing its consumed proportion as 23%. Coca-Cola had been their second priority by registering its consumed percentage as 11% while Pepsi, Fanta, Sprite were used moderately by giving their percentage as 7%, 6%, 4% respectively.” This should be at least two separate sentences.
2. You have the wrong collocation. You say “use soft drinks”. Choose a different verb: consume/ drink/ choose/ prefer + soft drinks
Sir
These are two sentences .If you pay attention there is a full stop after 23% but no space between % and .
Please let me know. is it right then or still I have to keep my sentences short.
oh yeah, use is wrong here.
can’t thank you enough for such a timely and comprehensive feedback.
Sorry, you are totally right- they are two sentences. I meant to paste this sentence: “Considering England, Coca- Cola and Pepsi were preferred by consumers showing the consumed proportion of both the brands as 16% and 8 % respectively while other drinks: Fanta, Sprite and Irn-Bru were used with the proportion of 7%, 5%, and 4% respectively”. In general, you need to make sure that your writing does not cause strain for the reader. This means that you should have a combination of shorter and longer sentences. You can use linking words like “This means” to link your sentences together.
Ok sir. I will be careful next time.
Nice answer. Keep it up:)
Thanks an awful lot dear!