In the past, people tended to go shopping in physical retail shops. Recently, online shops have become a new and popular trend. Despite clear advantages of this trend. I would argue that physical retail shops are replaced has more drawbacks than advantages.
Nowadays, shopping online has become a highly acceptable trend because it can save time and money. Online shops are able to deliver products within a day. Additionally, online shops can lower the cost since they do not need to pay the rent for physical stores; therefore, customers can buy cheaper products. However, I would argue that this is less important mow compared to the past. In the past, transportation system was not convenient, comparing to now, it is refined and polish; therefore, go shopping in physical shop is much more convenient than before. Online shops also ask customers to pay shipping fee, which can cost customers more money.
There are two overwhelming reasons why keeping physical shops is advantageous. First of all, shopping offline is safer and more efficient since customers can check the quality of items, like avoiding the color shading. Furthermore, many products have different size. Take clothes for example, it is always better that people can try them on before purchasing, so they do not waste time on returning and exchanging. Secondly, if the physical retail shops are replaced by online shops, many people would lose their jobs, such as cashier and salespeople. This can cause a higher unemployment rate, which is a huge burden for not only the government but also our society.
In conclusion, keeping the physical retail shops has more pros than cons since it is less risky and more efficient for customers. Physical shops can also produce more jobs opportunities. The fact that online shops are cheaper is less important since customers need to pay shopping fee, and the time spends on shopping offline is not a problem in modern society because of the completed transport system.
Very nice essay. Clear introduction and conclusion. Great topic sentences and good use of rebuttal. I also like your use of semi-colons (although, you repeat the same structure in two sentences “; therefore”). You have lots of good linking words and use examples very well. Well done!
Here are some tips:
1. This sentence is not clear “I would argue that physical retail shops are replaced has more drawbacks than advantages.” Maybe change it to: “I would argue that the replacement of physical stores for online shops brings more drawbacks than advantages”
2. Remember to use a gerund (-ing verb) when the verb is the subject of the sentence. For example, this sentence “therefore, go shopping in physical shop is much more convenient” should be “therefore, goING shopping”