Picture of Shehla

Shehla

According to some people, having a gun as a protective tool is a good idea to keep their families including them safe and sound. In my opinion gun isn’t something which can protect our near and dears, rather it enhances crimes, threat, and chaos.
As per statement, the rightful owner of a gun will be able to fight against all the dangers and threats to their lives. It will safeguard them and others will be really frightened of hearing about that. For example, a robber can never do robbery without having this mess making tool. He can’t get anything for his livelihood if he will be deprived of this disgusting arm. Only, on gun point he can do anything. So, it is considered to the most powerful and authoritative instrument to supress others and rule over them. It is the best short cut to earn one’s bread and butter and shelter their loved ones without even getting into trouble to be educated.
In my opinion, thinking about a gun to keep someone safe depicts the lowest mindset of the the individuals. it is best to replace this nasty killing and disastrous tool by Education which play the role of torchlights in dark aspects of our lives. It broadens our vision and illustrates the best ways how to achieve our goals and reach our destiny. It provides us the ever best shelter in the form providing our job opportunities, fringe facilities, peace and contentment. In other words, if we get properly groomed and educated then there is no need of an arm to protect us. Being educated, each individual will be self-sufficient and prosperous.
In a nut shell, arms increase juvenile delinquency and produce criminals who influence others and destroy the peace and quiet of this planet Earth. It might protect those who think that they can snatch others’ property easily by using devastative instrument, but they don’t think that their innocent offspring can pick this one day and use against them. So, get educated and spread awareness instead of negativity and destruction.

Community Band Score

2 votes, average: 6.50 out of 92 votes, average: 6.50 out of 92 votes, average: 6.50 out of 92 votes, average: 6.50 out of 92 votes, average: 6.50 out of 92 votes, average: 6.50 out of 92 votes, average: 6.50 out of 92 votes, average: 6.50 out of 92 votes, average: 6.50 out of 9 (2 votes, average: 6.50 out of 9)
You need to be a registered member to rate this.
Loading...

Very good

  • Wow, I wish I could write like this. Can you give me some tips? 
  • This is a really good answer, I can’t see any mistakes.
  • Great vocabulary, I didn’t know the word _____ and ______.
  • Very clever ideas. They clearly relate to the question. 

Good

  • Your grammar is very good. However, I think you made a mistake in the sentence _______. I think it should be _______.
  • Your introduction/overview is really good. However, I think ______ is a mistake. It should be _________.
  • In general, your spelling is good but you misspelled the word ______. 

Comments

  1. Hey Shehla. Nice essay. You have a lot of nice vocabulary: “protective tool”, “safe and sound”, “safeguard”, “reach our destiny”, “self-sufficient and prosperous”, “juvenile delinquency”. Your position is clear throughout your essay- well done.
    Here are some tips to improve your writing.
    1. Make sure you are answering the question. Your paragraph on education is tangential and does not explain why you think owning a gun should be illegal.
    2. Don’t add new ideas in the conclusion. You mention that legalising guns increases “juvenile delinquency”- this is not mentioned in your body paragraphs.
    3. Don’t have an action statement in your conclusion. You say “get educated and spread awareness instead of negativity and destruction.” – IELTS essays don’t need action statements.

Thank you for submitting your answer

Congratulations, your answer has been posted!

Close this popup to continue with the course

Thank you!

Let’s arrange a time.

Click here to arrange a time

Thank you for submitting your answer

Congratulations, your answer has been posted!

Click here to See your answer