Shehla

Shehla

According to some people, having a gun as a protective tool is a good idea to keep their families including them safe and sound. In my opinion, gun isn’t something which can protect our near and dears, rather it enhances crimes, threat, and chaos.
As per statement, the rightful owner of a gun will be able to fight against all the dangers and threats to their lives. It will safeguard them and others will be really frightened of hearing about that. For example, a robber can never do robbery without having this mess making tool. He can’t get anything for his livelihood if he will be deprived of this disgusting arm. Only, on gun point he can do anything. So, it is considered the most powerful and authoritative instrument to supress others and rule over them. It is the best source to earn one’s bread and butter and shelter their loved ones without even getting into trouble to be educated.
In my opinion, it needs to be declared illegal to own a gun. The impediments of having a gun are numerous as everyone will tend to keep it. Legalising gun licence will set the mind of youngsters that having a gun is important for their safety, but they never know that a single shot by that gun can put precious lives to an end. It will encourage them to be thieves by using the it. Hindering their positive capabilities and encouraging them to look for short cuts for breadwinning, they will own it as a must. Furthermore, arm market will get the best business centre, and it will get imprint on everyone’s mind that the entire aim of his/her life is getting a gun both for protection and earnings. But, ruthless killing by guns will engulf the existing peace and tranquilly on the face of this earth.

In a nut shell, it would be absolutely devastating to allow people for having guns legally. There drawbacks of having a gun are many times more than its benefits.

Community Band Score

2 votes, average: 6.50 out of 92 votes, average: 6.50 out of 92 votes, average: 6.50 out of 92 votes, average: 6.50 out of 92 votes, average: 6.50 out of 92 votes, average: 6.50 out of 92 votes, average: 6.50 out of 92 votes, average: 6.50 out of 92 votes, average: 6.50 out of 9 (2 votes, average: 6.50 out of 9)
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Comments

  1. Respected community, I got a bit off the track when I attempted it in the morning. After getting feedback by sir Eli, I wrote it again. whenever you get some free time, please go through it. Waiting for your precious feedback.

  2. Hey Shela, this essay is an improvement from your last attempt. I think you would benefit from doing the Academic IELTS writing course. Here is a link: https://englishprotips.com/courses/academic-writing-course/
    Here are some tips.
    1. Use “In conclusion” instead of “In a nutshell”
    2. Don’t use phrases like “As per statement,”
    3. Revise conditionals: “He can’t get anything for his livelihood if he will be deprived of this disgusting arm.” – “He won’t be able to do anything for his livelihood if he is deprived of this disgusting firearm”. You can learn more about conditionals in the Academic Writing Course: https://englishprotips.com/courses/academic-writing-course/

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