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Shehla

Alcohol is considered to be a medicament by some people and it should be banned. I would argue that alcohol is healthy if it is taken in moderation. Diseases like heart attack and diabetes can be prevented by taking it in required amount.

Due to unawareness and unhealthy lifestyle, heart diseases are getting common and a considerable number of people die due to heart attacks. This fatal mishap can be avoided to a large extent if people take alcohol in right amount for a required period; not more than three times a day. It prevents veins blockage and helps in regular blood flow. For example, heart diseases are generally found less in medical doctors as compared to other people. One of the reasons is their proper intake of alcohol as they are fully equipped with the correct use of this chemical through their studies.

Similarly, diabetes is an other health issue causing less immunity and resistance against other diseases. Diabetic patients usually feel exhausted and can not concentrate on their work or studies. To reduce the risk of this disastrous disease, it is sometimes advised by doctors to take alcohol in moderation. Such as, a group of people taking alcohol in right quantity is generally observed lesser diabetic as compared to those who never drink that.

Some people think that alcohol lead people to drug abuse. They lose their mental balance and do unlawful acts. On contrary, I believe that if they use it in a right way, it might not lead them to that much destruction. I would argue that people, having wisdom, can avoid taking alcohol in excess. They might have healthy life by its right intake.

In conclusion, I would argue that right quantity of alcohol may help people stay healthy and fit, though the opponents want it to be considered among drugs and should be banned. Its chemical compositions illustrates its benefits for preventing heart attack and diabetes.

Community Band Score

1 vote, average: 7.00 out of 91 vote, average: 7.00 out of 91 vote, average: 7.00 out of 91 vote, average: 7.00 out of 91 vote, average: 7.00 out of 91 vote, average: 7.00 out of 91 vote, average: 7.00 out of 91 vote, average: 7.00 out of 91 vote, average: 7.00 out of 9 (1 votes, average: 7.00 out of 9)
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Comments

  1. + Good introduction. However, it would be improved if you make your position directly related to the question. E.g. “I would argue that alcohol should not be made illegal because it is healthy if drunk in moderation.”
    + Well developed body paragraphs. Each paragraph has a clear idea, which is great.
    + Good conclusion= you don’t mention any new ideas and you express your opinion clearly. Well done
    + Lots of good vocabulary.
    + Very nice rebuttal.
    – A useful phrase is “in moderation”. For example, I believe that it is important that alcohol is consumed in moderation.
    – Be careful with spelling: “an other” = “another”
    – Be careful with collocations. We don’t usually say “take alcohol”. We usually say “drink/ consume alcohol”

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